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Editor:Staff 28th April 2008
What Type of Magic Player are You?
By John Savill On the eve of ANZAC Day, I sit here and marvel in the wonderous stories of our forefathers. Acts of selfless heroism, mateship, horror and survival, the qualities of humanity that makes you who you are today. Now in the way my mind works, I found myself thinking of the different types of Magic players I’ve had the pleasure (or disappointment) of playing against over the last 10 years. So without further ado:
The Casual Casual This player is the type of player you can find anywhere. Playing the deck that they made 3 years ago and continuously using the statement “I don’t care if I lose” and meaning it. You will never see a tear from his eye as you rain the hurting bombs of your new broken cards upon his hapless deck, and he will get up shake your hand and say “Good Game, how about another?”. This player does best in multiplayer games as he sits there and watches everyone slog each other around the head while he just bides his time. After he completely obliterates the last two players, no one is angry, upset or has a damaged ego, as a matter of fact, this win has been a long time in coming and no-one could deserve it better The Top Deck God This is the guy who sits. Sits and curses. Curses some more while he remains mana screwed or mana flooded. Then, as he sits on 2 life, he draws the bomb. And not just any bomb, he has played a workmanlike game and played what he can to stem the steady hemorrhage of his life total, and even managed to get back at you, and the bomb he has drawn is no ordinary bomb, but the MOAB (Mother of All Bombs). There is no mistaking the glint of victory in his eyes, you are tapped out, out of luck, and now, just generally out of the running for first prize. No poker face or tricks needed, the bomb hits, and you scoop….the shame….the agony….the Anime DVD that looked set to be yours is now just a dream. This player will shake your hand and say “Good Game, You almost Had me there” no feelings or ego hurt, he is the Top Deck God, and you were at the mercy of his unnerving luck. The Netdeck Devil There are a couple of ways to describe this guy, copycat is one way, anal is the other, some will say unoriginal some will say a master, when really, he is a combination of all. This player is the type who has been playing for years. He/she was considered to be the master of deck creation around the “Invasion” block, and was completely unpredictable and inventive. Now, he is working 9-5 Mon-Fri, and has no time to be creative. His Magic games are played to win, played with decks, tested and trailed, put through the wringer and perfected, just not by him. He knows the ins and outs, the “What ifs…”, the mirrors, the aggro response and every tiny bit of information required to win as much times as possible. This player isn’t hated, but he has no sympathy, no remorse and no let up as you face a turn 3 defeat. This player is only in it for the Anime DVD prize, and he will get it. He will…. But he is a hollow person, the fire has gone, and his escape is the win, rather than the game, This player hates the Top Deck God, but will shake your hand and say “Bad Luck”. Nothing More, Nothing Less. The n00b We’ve all been there, we all started somewhere, this is the next generation. From experience being the n00b, there is only one colour, “Green”. Two types of card, big Green fatties and forests. This new player loves playing, he has every 7 mana costing 6/6 creature imaginable in his deck, and with a mana curve like no other. If he ever plays anything, it won’t be till turn 7 because of the horrible mana screw associated with his 90 card deck, unsleeved. Yes, Unsleeved. He may even shuffle his deck like a pool shark, the good old ruffle. This “kid” will have the best luck in a draft tournament, and will play with his new $25 rares he pulled out without sleeves, and without thought to relevance of the deck. Incredibly fun to play against, and will have a great future if he wasn’t like a gold fish, I forget to mention, he played Pokemon cards, next is Yu-Gi-Oh! he changes game every 6 months. The Alpha The Aplha, has been playing since 1993 and has the Power 9. He is a solid to excellent player, but is annoying. He hates the new designs, the new pictures aren’t any good, all the new sets are broken and nothing will ever beat the Black Summer. He has a gold mine of cards, new and old, but won’t trade unless it’s your left testicle and first-born son for a Morphling. Even though he has 12 of them. He is very competitive, and will give the Net Deck Devil and Top Deck God a run for their money out of sheer experience and pool of cards. He can’t stand the n00b, and will never offer any help or advice. As a matter of fact, he will rip the n00b off horrendously and not think twice about it. Not usually a very liked player, but his abilities are respected. He may or may not shake your hand, and he will say “Hmm….” Every time you scratch yourself or play a card. The All Round good Guy Pro This is the one everyone loves to play against. Unless this guy means business, you will have a chance to win. He will offer advice on how to play, and he may even let you take a silly mistake back. He will trade fairly, and has won that many prizes, that he is now the owner of ever Anime DVD series known to be released. He could have gone pro, but, he will tell you he just wanted to stay in town and keep on keepin’ on. Or, he did go pro for a little while, has some great stories of travel and rubbing shoulders with the Magic playing elite….even the French ones. He likes the n00b and will help him fix that 90 card monstrosity and turn it into a competitive deck. This guy is the McGuyver of Magic, give him 30 Forests, a Lacky Band, 40 Randomly assorted Common Creatures, 40 randomly assorted common spells/enchantments and 5 minutes and he will have a control deck, worthy of Garry Wong himself. There are many others, Stay tuned in the future for more, What Type of
Magic Player are You?…. maybe….
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